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Zor and Zam
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27 March 2002
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The king of Zor, he called for a war,
The king of Zam, he answered.
They fashioned their weapons, one upon one,
ton upon ton, they called for a war
at the rise of the sun.
(The Monkees - "Zor and Zam")
I don't know...
Dear Tonya,
I love you. You are my sister, and I can not and will not ever stop loving you. Your opinion has always mattered to me, and I don’t see that changing any time soon. I know that Mom and Dad and our sweet baby sister also value your opinion on things.
Since that dreadful day four years ago when you found out about my relationship with Jeff, so many things have happened between the two of us. I am the kind of person that does not like confrontation, yet that is all that you seem to want to give me. I don’t want to talk about “it”, and you can’t stop asking me questions regarding the reasons – who, what, why, when, and where? I don’t always know how to handle that kind intrusion.
My life is just that, mine. Why is it that your faith and beliefs in all that is the Bible and God mean that you must analyze and criticize every single thing that I do in *my* life? I realize that there are decisions and choices that I make that are less than what might be biblically acceptable, but I am really trying to find my own way here. I don’t know why this is so hard for you to grasp. Instead, we end up arguing and fighting all the time.
It’s been good the last year or so. However, I’ve not given you much to criticize. I’ve kept my life at a status quo and for that, I have been rewarded with laughter and smiles from you and the family. Yay for me!
I don’t know what I can do to make you understand where I am coming from and where I might be going. The roads that I choose to travel may not be the ones that you might map out for me, but really, I will get along just fine. In fact, my route might be just a tad bit more scenic.
I love you, my sweet sister, but I really need you and my wonderful family to back off just a bit. I don’t’ know how else to say it without alienating myself from you or alienating you from me. Please don’t make me do that. It would be difficult, but if it means that I would have to live without my family for awhile to prove that I am a grown up and that I can survive on my own, I will do it. I don’t know if you will ever understand me anymore. I know that I have changed a lot, but I’ve not forgotten all that you and I learned together while growing up. I listened. I just interpreted some things a bit differently.
Can you understand that? Will you understand that?
Love always and forever,
Maggie
This has been a collaboration for... Dear X.
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