It's always so easy to give advice when someone asks for it. In fact, often times people come to me when they want some soothing words, comforting hugs, words of wisdom. They compliment me on my talent for seeing things as they really are. I can objectively make a judgement on a situation for anyone.... but myself.

Why is that when I am trying the be objective and honest about myself, I fail miserably?

I need you; I need your advice. You are my friend, and I know that you will tell me what you believe is the best thing for me, no matter how much the words might sting. That subtle pinch of reality usually goes away, I know. However, the initial jolt is electrifyingly too real.

Help me, please?

I am lonely. I used to have a couple of pals, and I'm not sure what happened to them. They just disappeared. How can that happen???

There was Ollie. He survived around me for a couple of weeks. Did he pack his bags and move away? Had he decided that there was enough turmoil in his life? Did I make a sucker out of him once too often? Where did he go? Oh, poor Ollie!

Then there was the sweet and durable, yet elegantly black Morty. He and I grew up together - hung around the same neighborhood. We were lifelong pals. Unfortunately, Morty's life was not so long.

These friends did not keel over and float belly up, Maggie. They disappeared. No note, nothing. I've not received a ransom note, so I'm not assuming that it's not a matter of it being a kidnapping. Besides, you know me, I'm poor as a... a... a... fish. They were there one day, and then gone the next.

I searched all of their hiding places. Heck, I'm the one that showed them the nooks and crannies of the place.

Is there something that I could have done differently? Is there a flaw in my personality? How many pals... friends... roomies has that been now??? Three? Four? I can't remember the ones before Ollie and Morty. You know my memory. It's usually as reliable as my... legs.

Please help me, Maggie. I need to know how I can improve my life, my character, my personality. Apparently I am lacking in so many areas. I feel like I'm swimming in circles.

I want my friends back. Should I go out to look for them?

They didn't even say goodbye.

Are they okay, do you think? Should I even be worrying?

Maybe I chased them away. Maybe I scared the life out of them too many times.

Am I a bully, Maggie? Please, be honest with me. I need your advice on how to become a better living being.

You are always someone that I can count on to be there for me. One more time for old times sake?

Love,

Goldy, the goldfish

P.S. Would you clean out my tank already?